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funeralxfun

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zombie jesus [Apr. 12th, 2009|01:57 pm]
funeralxfun
[mood |sadcrying, for real.]

Today my mom and I got into another argument about gay people; it's really all we ever argue about. It just made me realize that christians are so fucking entitled; how dare you try and tell me what "God" intended.

Don't tell me that the Bible is the "word of the Lord", it has been so diluted over the centuries by man, not to mention it's outdated.

Sorry if I'm offending any of you, but it just upsets me so much when people sit around telling eleven year old kids that it's okay for them to think being gay is wrong... just like it's okay for them to think being black is wrong. Let's judge people for what they have absolutely no control over, because we're close minded.

Just... fuck it.
I wish I could change her opinion on this, but I can't.
What if I ever dated another woman? I'm not saying that I will, but it isn't outside the realm of possibility; it just hurts to know that if I ever did my mother might love me less. What's worse is she has a gay brother... how can she feel that way about him?

People get the wrong impression of my mother at times, and I try my hardest to defend her but sometimes it is so hard to remember she wasn't always like this. I wish I could go back in time to the day she met Bob and push him into oncoming traffic.
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Perchaps [Mar. 5th, 2008|10:08 am]
funeralxfun
I wonder if I can post anything worth reading anymore.
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p-burg, OH [Jul. 12th, 2007|05:14 pm]
funeralxfun
I have spent the majority of summer with my sister in Perrysburg Ohio.
I am currently sitting at the library bored.
Fucking bored.
Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored...
B-O-R-E-D.

I could've stayed home and watched more House M.D. but I was like, "nah, I'll go with you."

I could've straightened my hair, but I decided to come and be bored.
B-O-R-E-D.

And there is like, this two year old kid sitting next to me, I think he's wearing cologne, it's giving me a headache and I'm bored.
B-O-R-E-D.

I could walk home right now, but that would be B-O-R-I-N-G. and who would I complain to about how hot it is?
Nobody.

So instead, I sit here. At the library, in Perrysburg Ohio.
Bored.
B-O-R-E-D.
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djfsdkjfsl [Jun. 1st, 2007|12:35 am]
funeralxfun
[mood |infuriatedinfuriated]
[music |Opposite Day - Andrew Bird]

I am so glad that school is out.


The number of people that I can actually stand seems to be dwindling, and I'm glad I won't have to deal with some of those people anymore.


One time, Rachel called me a misanthrope.
I was a little offended and denied it, but I see now that it is becoming more and more true every day.

It's not my fault people are stupid. Or that they're backstabbing bitches.
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(no subject) [May. 28th, 2007|12:47 pm]
funeralxfun
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |Oh Comely - Neutral Milk Hotel]

In second grade Sailor Moon was my favorite show. And there was a pretty cute guy in it, named Andrew. There was also a guy named Andrew in my class; I decided that he should be my boyfriend.

I began telling everyone, "Hey guys! I like Andrew!" So everyone knew except Andrew. My best friend Kelsey and I decided it was time for him to know one day at recess. I found him as fast as I could and sat him down for the talk.

I grabbed his hand, I don't think he appreciated that very much, but for some reason he tolerated it.
"Andy, I love you."
As a seven year old I didn't understand the true impact of my words, but I think in his boy DNA he knew to run. And that's what he did, he ran.

The rest of recess was spent chasing him around the playground trying to get him to listen to me. He wouldn't.

Soon I couldn't find my friend Kelsey, but I heard her voice shouting for everyone to hear, "HEY ANDREW! LEAH LOVES YOU!"

Needless to say I was embarrassed, Andrew was embarrassed... and I have never loved since.

= = = = =

ALTERNATE ENDING!

= = = = =

I Was outraged at my friends audacity... so I plotted to get back at her, and decided to use my mystical dinosaur summoning powers...

The ground shook, and dinosaurs could be seen coming from every direction. triceratops, T-rex, raptors, Long necks... all of them.

"WHERE IS KELSEY DENNIS!" Roared the T-rex, of course only I could understand it, so I pointed at the girl with four fingers on her hand, and they went and devoured her.

In retrospect it was a little sad, because she was my best friend.
The dinosaurs kind of went a little mad with power and eat everyone, except me.

And the SWAT team, and the national guard, and the army and the marines had to come take them out.

the end.
That's why I haven't been able to call on the dinosaurs since.
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Tooth-a-rexic [May. 26th, 2007|11:00 pm]
funeralxfun
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |I won't be left - Tegan and Sara]

In my last post I expressed the desire to write for a living, I have decided to treat everyone to a story I wrote in first block a few days ago.

Enjoy.


- - -

I am obsessed with oral hygiene. I brush my teeth at least three times a day, sometimes more depending on if I can access a tooth brush. Two of these times I use prescription toothpaste to help prevent cavities. I also floss once a day and use mouth wash religiously.
People are always telling me, "Leah, you've got such white teeth!"
I just can't bring myself to believe them. It's quite similar to Anorexic people looking in the mirror and seeing fat; I look in the mirror and see yellow teeth.
I believe my obsession started in 5th grade when Taylor Griffin looked at me and said, "You've got really white teeth." Everyone gathered around to see my "white teeth" and agreed that my teeth were indeed very white.
Maybe it's my darker skin complexion that gives my teeth the appearence of being so white.
I recall one awful trip to the dentist (who I usually love!) when the dentist informed me that I had seven cavities... Not one, or two, or three, or four, or five, or six... SEVEN!
Everyone was in a state of shock... but nobody was as crushed as me. I did everything right! I even flossed!
The dentist interrogated me harshly,
"Do you drink soda?"
"Yes"
"How many times a week?"
"Once or twice..."
"What kind?"
"Diet Cherry vanilla Dr.Pepper...."
"Do you drink bottled water?"
"Sometimes. Mostly tap water."
"Unfiltered?!"
"Y-yes..."

She questioned my mom also. We couldn't figure out what was wrong with my teeth. She soon decided, "it's your diet. Stop snacking so much. It exposes your teeth to sugar."
I was given a different toothpaste that was prescription, because of the amount of fluoride in it.
Some friends of mine have suggested that I am brushing the enamel right off my teeth and told me to brush less, and that is something I simply cannot do without extensive therapy or maybe some crest white strips. But I just don't have the 40 dollars to spend on that.
I will just be forever cursed with this horrible disease... tootharexia.
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(no subject) [May. 25th, 2007|08:40 pm]
funeralxfun
I really want to write... For a living.
Memoirs, like Augusten Burroughs or David Sedaris.



In other news, I am dying.
The Doctor told mom to call them about me.

It could only be one thing, death!
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London Calling [Dec. 27th, 2006|01:35 pm]
funeralxfun
[mood |tiredtired]
[music |12:51 - the strokes]

I really hate it when people make myspace's for their pets.
Srsly, get a life.

I burned myself with my hair straightener this morning.
It still hurts.

My dad is picking me up to go to Ann Arbor today.
Sup Urban Outfitters?
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marathons [Dec. 23rd, 2006|02:21 pm]
funeralxfun
[mood |dirtydirty]
[music |Simply Because - Rooney]

Surreal life marathon!
The Season with Janice Dickinson and Omagrossa.
It's pretty intense.

My sister is coming down todaaaaaay.
I should probably clean my room, buuuut, I'm not gonna, because I am lazy.
:D
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i'm really fucking whiny.really. [Dec. 21st, 2006|04:09 pm]
funeralxfun
[mood |excitedexcited]
[music |Stacked Crooked - The New Pornographers]

holy shiiiit.
like furreal. I've never noticed how damn whiny I am.
It's really fucking annoying.



CHRISTMAS BREAK STARTED YESTERDAY!
I went to the movies with my mom and little sisters today.
Because I have no friends, and no life. (I don't think that counts as whining, because it's true. Katherine is my only friend, and she just got back from the Nations capital today.)

Anyway, we saw open season.
KIDS MOVIE.
I loved it.


I finshed Killing Yourself to Live by Chuck Klosterman yesterday, and started reading Dry by Augesten Burroughs.
I'm likin' Dry a lot better than Killing Yourself to Live.
Killing Yourself to Live was really anti-climatic, and I didn't like how it was written.

I really, really can't wait for christmas.
My little sisters are 7 and 9 so they still believe in Santa, which makes it awesome for me.
this girl in my business law class, her mom just took her out to buy her presents and told her to act suprised on christmas morning.

Where's the fun and the anticipation in that?
I mean honestly.
And my sister is coming down, which I am also really excited for.

I'm going to go help make cookies for Santa.
I'm outtie.
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