||[May. 28th, 2007|12:47 pm]
|||||Oh Comely - Neutral Milk Hotel||]|
In second grade Sailor Moon was my favorite show. And there was a pretty cute guy in it, named Andrew. There was also a guy named Andrew in my class; I decided that he should be my boyfriend.
I began telling everyone, "Hey guys! I like Andrew!" So everyone knew except Andrew. My best friend Kelsey and I decided it was time for him to know one day at recess. I found him as fast as I could and sat him down for the talk.
I grabbed his hand, I don't think he appreciated that very much, but for some reason he tolerated it.
"Andy, I love you."
As a seven year old I didn't understand the true impact of my words, but I think in his boy DNA he knew to run. And that's what he did, he ran.
The rest of recess was spent chasing him around the playground trying to get him to listen to me. He wouldn't.
Soon I couldn't find my friend Kelsey, but I heard her voice shouting for everyone to hear, "HEY ANDREW! LEAH LOVES YOU!"
Needless to say I was embarrassed, Andrew was embarrassed... and I have never loved since.
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I Was outraged at my friends audacity... so I plotted to get back at her, and decided to use my mystical dinosaur summoning powers...
The ground shook, and dinosaurs could be seen coming from every direction. triceratops, T-rex, raptors, Long necks... all of them.
"WHERE IS KELSEY DENNIS!" Roared the T-rex, of course only I could understand it, so I pointed at the girl with four fingers on her hand, and they went and devoured her.
In retrospect it was a little sad, because she was my best friend.
The dinosaurs kind of went a little mad with power and eat everyone, except me.
And the SWAT team, and the national guard, and the army and the marines had to come take them out.
That's why I haven't been able to call on the dinosaurs since.